Music and Religion
How do I feel today? Good. Last night I went out with Ashley and some of her friends to The Thirsty Lion. We watched a couple of guys perform, as Tuesday is dubbed "Singer/Songwriter Showcase". Since we all had to work the next day, we only watched three acts. They were all decent, especially Ian James.
You can check out his music here: http://www.myspace.com/whoisianjames.
All of the artists sang a lot of pop/sad/make the girls swoon music, which gets annoying real quick...but it was enjoyable. It's especially nice to see Ashley smiling and enjoying time with her friends. It's been over three months since her mom died. I know she keeps a lot of feelings inside, or just doesn't feel comfortable sharing them with me. But I can see a light in her that I honestly don't think I've seen in the last six years. She is happy that her mom is no longer in pain. Ashley may not feel the light that I see all around her all the time, but I know it's her mom.
I've only prayed a few times in my life. There are so many different religions with so many different Truths, and it's mind-boggling. I believe in a higher power, but I also believe everything happens for a reason. In my mind, there are God(s) who created this Earth and help out humans in certain ways, but don't interfer with your life's plan. YOU and YOU alone make the plan. But back to praying. The few times I've prayed have been because:
a) Princess Diana died and I was cursing God to bring her back - mind you, I was an over-emotional 11-year-old. Now I'm 23...still emotional though.
b) My friend's mom got me a bible and prayer book - an overzealous Christian trying to convert me: the sinner who doesn't obey God's rules and will suffer in hell. It's funny that she was giving me the literature when it was her daughter who was sleeping around, drinking every weekend and skipping class.
c) Close friends/family have died. I often pray to these recently deceased not for their return on earth, but that they watch over those that they've left behind. Those they've hurt by their departure.
This was the case for Sherie, Ashley's mom. When she left, I prayed to her. It went a little something like this:
"Sherie, how's it going? I know you're not here anymore, and I miss you. My heart wants to tell you a few things, for its own sake. I think your family is beautiful, especially your daughter. She is a wonderful person who has made my life better for just being a presence in it. Being the guilty-natured person that I am, I'd like to apologize. I'm sorry if I've ever hurt Ashley in any way that has made her mad or sad or upset. And in turn, I'm sorry if my actions have ever hurt you or your family. I'd also like to thank you Sherie. Thank you and Bruce so much for bringing such a wonderful woman into fruition! A true gem! An amiga! An amie! What her friendship means to me can never be put into words, whatever language it may be. I know she doesn't need your physical body in her life to do great things, but I know she needs the memory of you in her heart. So please stay with her always. Thank you Sherie."
Praying like this has helped me realize that I don't need to address God to speak to the person I need. God is not the intermediary between humans and heaven. I believe we speak directly to our loved ones, and they hear every word of it. So then what is the role of a God or Gods? This I may never know.
You can check out his music here: http://www.myspace.com/whoisianjames.
All of the artists sang a lot of pop/sad/make the girls swoon music, which gets annoying real quick...but it was enjoyable. It's especially nice to see Ashley smiling and enjoying time with her friends. It's been over three months since her mom died. I know she keeps a lot of feelings inside, or just doesn't feel comfortable sharing them with me. But I can see a light in her that I honestly don't think I've seen in the last six years. She is happy that her mom is no longer in pain. Ashley may not feel the light that I see all around her all the time, but I know it's her mom.
I've only prayed a few times in my life. There are so many different religions with so many different Truths, and it's mind-boggling. I believe in a higher power, but I also believe everything happens for a reason. In my mind, there are God(s) who created this Earth and help out humans in certain ways, but don't interfer with your life's plan. YOU and YOU alone make the plan. But back to praying. The few times I've prayed have been because:
a) Princess Diana died and I was cursing God to bring her back - mind you, I was an over-emotional 11-year-old. Now I'm 23...still emotional though.
b) My friend's mom got me a bible and prayer book - an overzealous Christian trying to convert me: the sinner who doesn't obey God's rules and will suffer in hell. It's funny that she was giving me the literature when it was her daughter who was sleeping around, drinking every weekend and skipping class.
c) Close friends/family have died. I often pray to these recently deceased not for their return on earth, but that they watch over those that they've left behind. Those they've hurt by their departure.
This was the case for Sherie, Ashley's mom. When she left, I prayed to her. It went a little something like this:
"Sherie, how's it going? I know you're not here anymore, and I miss you. My heart wants to tell you a few things, for its own sake. I think your family is beautiful, especially your daughter. She is a wonderful person who has made my life better for just being a presence in it. Being the guilty-natured person that I am, I'd like to apologize. I'm sorry if I've ever hurt Ashley in any way that has made her mad or sad or upset. And in turn, I'm sorry if my actions have ever hurt you or your family. I'd also like to thank you Sherie. Thank you and Bruce so much for bringing such a wonderful woman into fruition! A true gem! An amiga! An amie! What her friendship means to me can never be put into words, whatever language it may be. I know she doesn't need your physical body in her life to do great things, but I know she needs the memory of you in her heart. So please stay with her always. Thank you Sherie."
Praying like this has helped me realize that I don't need to address God to speak to the person I need. God is not the intermediary between humans and heaven. I believe we speak directly to our loved ones, and they hear every word of it. So then what is the role of a God or Gods? This I may never know.
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